To everyone who was not able to attend the memorial here is a video montage to remember my mother by. Thank you everyone for your support during the past few months.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghdXN40OSAw&feature=youtu.be

SANDY CAPPARELLI MEMORIAL SERVICE

We will be having a memorial service for Sandy Capparelli on May 20th at 1:00, please contact Kari Capparelli if you would like to attend at (951) 678-0258 or at Cappy6200@aol.com

Thanks,
Kari

Update 4/11/12

R.I.P. SANDRA MARY CAPPARELLI 10/21/53 to 4/2/12.


My mom passed away on Monday the 2nd of April at 2:15 pm. She was not in any pain and went peacefully. I had been home with her for the past week, I had not left the house for anything and on that Monday I had to go to the bank and during that hour she passed with her nurse here. Travis was home and her friend Tamara was here visiting. We believe she waited for me to leave to go so that I didn't have to go into her room and find her. She had been highly medicated with medication given every hour and a half to every two hours. The research for life company that we donated her to were here to pick her up 2 hours after and we said our goodbyes.

This has been very difficult for us and we miss her a lot but know she is in a better place where she is hanging out with her mom, my brother, her best friend Grace, her friend Muff, and finally got to hold our little cousin Seamus. We are all going to need time to adjust to life without her, I wake up in the morning every morning thinking she is still with me, I guess it will take awhile to let that go. I have cared for her since she first had her stroke in April of 06, so it had been 6 years of taking care of her that I find hard to let go of. Worrying about her had become my daily routine in life. It is bitter sweet, We had our baby on Thursday the 5th, 3 days after she passed and as much joy as that is we still miss my mom. It is hard to believe that she is gone. Like Travis says she was like one of our children that we just took care of and would do it all over again if had the chance. Our new baby has moms name as her middle name, Kalista Sandra and I know my mom would be honored. They may not have met physically but I know that my mom will be watching from time to time and I know she is proud of the family that we have become. This past week has been a whirlwind and we are just getting done reeling from it all.

We are going to have a ash spreading ceremony when they send us her ashes back on either the 19th or 20th of May, when I get more details I will let everyone know more. In the meantime we are just taking our time grieving and adjusting to the next chapter of life. My mom is finally home and is no longer sick, she finally has her speech back and her memory, for that I find peace.

Thank you everyone for reading the blog and keeping my mom in your prayers. I feel truly blessed to have had her as my mom and know you all loved her as well.

UPDATE 4/1/12

On Friday we called the nurse in because my mom stopped eating and drinking, They said that she has a fever and that it is a fever in her brain that happens when you are dying. They then raised her morphine levels to basically put her in a comatose state so that she feels no pain. We give her a high dose of morphine every hour and a half, and a high level of anti-anxiety every 3 hours. She is at peace and not in any pain at this point. The doctors are telling us that she sounds worse than she feels and that makes all of us feel better about this experience. Her heart is still ticking but nothing about her is here. This has been extremely difficult for us to watch, I keep waiting for her to sit up and start talking to me about her grand kids, but that part of her is already gone. We are all finding peace in knowing that she is at home with us, surrounded by the sounds of my kids. I know my mom would have wanted it that way.

We made arrangements for her already as well for after she passes, and because she wanted to be a donor but none of her organs are viable, we decided to donate her body to research. They will give us back her ashes in 3-5 weeks after she passes and we will then have a ash spreading ceremony with the chaplain that has been here for the past 6 weeks. We will hold this ceremony at the beach where we last saw Kenny, it is the beach where she had gotten married and after will go to one of her favorite restaurants down there. I will contact everyone when I know more about the details of the ceremony. I will then take the remaining ashes and spread some where my grandma is spread in Chicago and where my brother is spread in Seal Beach.

I know she may not make it to meet her final grandchild, but I am finding comfort in knowing that no matter what she will meet her one way or another. I don't want her sticking around just to meet her if she is in pain. I am getting induced on Thursday at 6 am and at this point don't know if she will still be here. The chaplain read her her last rights on Friday, so for her to still be here now is a little shocking. We are all exhausted emotionally and physically, Travis is working graveyard shifts and I am waking up every hour and a half to give medicine while very pregnant and uncomfortable. Cameron has been amazing through all of this. I am so proud of how he is handling all of this. We have expressed to him that this is not a bad thing, that grandma is going home and he is being very mature about everything. He even has chosen to stay with her at times instead of running off to do fun things with friends, Saying things like " I can do that anytime, I want to spend this time with my grandma".

I want to thank all of you for your prayers and thoughts. It has meant a lot to us.

I will post again when I know more info.

Sorry about the grammar, like I said I'm exhausted.

Mom and hospice

My mom has been in the hospital for the past two weeks, she has been having some seizures and has been weak. After tests were done they determined that her hemoglobin was low and that she had to have a blood transfusion. That was done and she still was not fully bouncing back to her baseline state. The hospital that the ambulance took her to was trying to release her and we had to fight them on it. They were a horrible hospital and after talking to patients rights we finally got her transferred to a Kaiser hospital where her doctors were. They did there own tests and determined that she has another tumor on her side, due to this tumor they have concluded that her cancer is growing rapidly. She also has low blood pressure and has lost the ability to fully communicate, eat by herself, and walk. Her body is unable to handle any aggressive treatment, therefore at this point it is about making her as comfortable as possible. She is coming home today and hospice is stepping in to help care for her 4 days a week. We will have nurses, doctors, and caregivers coming to the home to help as needed as well. She has a wheel chair, a hospital bed for her circulation, a bathing chair, a walker, an oxygen tank, and a call button here at the home. So she is set up as if she was at a care facility. I went out yesterday to get her all new stuff for her room so she is comfortable. The hope is that she either one, bounces back when she gets home to buy us some more time with her or two, to let her go peacefully. My Uncle(her brother) and aunt(her sister in law) came here last night and we decided to not resuscitate if she has organ failure. We feel that would be for our benefit of keeping her here and why should she be in pain. We made decisions based on what we thought she would want. We made plans for her for her final days and for her final arrangements.

Our hearts are heavy and we are all just trying to stay positive. We want her to be home with us... This is her home here with my fiance, myself, my son, and my daughter, plus we have another baby on the way in 6 weeks that I am truly hoping she gets the chance to meet. Dealing with all of this while pregnant has been difficult but as I said I just really hope she gets to meet all her grandchildren, I know how much joy Kaylee and Cam bring her. As my Aunt said last night, it is time to let her go peacefully if that is what god wants. I have battled to keep her here for the past five years and I feel like I am losing the battle now, but I guess it wasn't ever really up to me. It's always been in gods hands. It gives me great peace to know that Kenny and my grandma will be waiting for her on the other side. We aren't writing her off yet, were just preparing for the inevitable. With that said I figured I would give all of you the same chance to say goodbye to her and that is why I am informing all of you through this blog. I would love to call everyone up individually, but I just don't have the energy to do so, I don't mind talking to anyone, I just can't remember who to call or who not to. She would love to hear from her loved ones, though. So call her or stop by to see her, I know she would love to see her friends and family.

My mom is an amazing woman! I am lucky to be her daughter!

Love you all and thanks for reading and sending your prayers!!!

Kari