UPDATE 4/1/12

On Friday we called the nurse in because my mom stopped eating and drinking, They said that she has a fever and that it is a fever in her brain that happens when you are dying. They then raised her morphine levels to basically put her in a comatose state so that she feels no pain. We give her a high dose of morphine every hour and a half, and a high level of anti-anxiety every 3 hours. She is at peace and not in any pain at this point. The doctors are telling us that she sounds worse than she feels and that makes all of us feel better about this experience. Her heart is still ticking but nothing about her is here. This has been extremely difficult for us to watch, I keep waiting for her to sit up and start talking to me about her grand kids, but that part of her is already gone. We are all finding peace in knowing that she is at home with us, surrounded by the sounds of my kids. I know my mom would have wanted it that way.

We made arrangements for her already as well for after she passes, and because she wanted to be a donor but none of her organs are viable, we decided to donate her body to research. They will give us back her ashes in 3-5 weeks after she passes and we will then have a ash spreading ceremony with the chaplain that has been here for the past 6 weeks. We will hold this ceremony at the beach where we last saw Kenny, it is the beach where she had gotten married and after will go to one of her favorite restaurants down there. I will contact everyone when I know more about the details of the ceremony. I will then take the remaining ashes and spread some where my grandma is spread in Chicago and where my brother is spread in Seal Beach.

I know she may not make it to meet her final grandchild, but I am finding comfort in knowing that no matter what she will meet her one way or another. I don't want her sticking around just to meet her if she is in pain. I am getting induced on Thursday at 6 am and at this point don't know if she will still be here. The chaplain read her her last rights on Friday, so for her to still be here now is a little shocking. We are all exhausted emotionally and physically, Travis is working graveyard shifts and I am waking up every hour and a half to give medicine while very pregnant and uncomfortable. Cameron has been amazing through all of this. I am so proud of how he is handling all of this. We have expressed to him that this is not a bad thing, that grandma is going home and he is being very mature about everything. He even has chosen to stay with her at times instead of running off to do fun things with friends, Saying things like " I can do that anytime, I want to spend this time with my grandma".

I want to thank all of you for your prayers and thoughts. It has meant a lot to us.

I will post again when I know more info.

Sorry about the grammar, like I said I'm exhausted.